We're like a lot better than the average bears
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
