ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
