thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Shame - the story of my life.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
