Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
