Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
