I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Randomize
