Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
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