my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
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grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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