Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.

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  (248): Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german. http://tfl.nu/j5lm
  Replies (4) Good night (1182) Bad night (640)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?

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  (469): is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl? http://tfl.nu/85q0
  Replies (23) Good night (3959) Bad night (799)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter

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  (414): fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter http://tfl.nu/kvk4
  Replies (15) Good night (1055) Bad night (4483)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Drunk walkin through police station. America

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  (406): Drunk walkin through police station. America http://tfl.nu/cieu
  Replies (13) Good night (2968) Bad night (871)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.

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  (321): Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college. http://tfl.nu/3u34
  Replies (17) Good night (3409) Bad night (865)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.

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  (270): I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely. http://tfl.nu/i6l6
  Replies (5) Good night (3188) Bad night (539)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.

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  (845): Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good. http://tfl.nu/x11e
  Replies (0) Good night (1072) Bad night (544)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?

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  (727): Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots? http://tfl.nu/ihjx
  Replies (4) Good night (1920) Bad night (585)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.

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  (770): You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned. http://tfl.nu/2qpc
  Replies (5) Good night (2169) Bad night (585)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl

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  (407): I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl http://tfl.nu/1s7i
  Replies (11) Good night (1776) Bad night (561)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.

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  (812): I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle. http://tfl.nu/j0rx
  Replies (1) Good night (695) Bad night (253)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.

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  (917): New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward. http://tfl.nu/1xcw
  Replies (3) Good night (751) Bad night (372)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Still breathing?

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.

  (503): View more from Oregon

  What.

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  (503): Still breathing? (303): Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences. (503): What. http://tfl.nu/d219
  Replies (4) Good night (668) Bad night (290)
• Favorite

  (276): View more from Virginia

  My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.

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  (276): My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today. http://tfl.nu/q8u1
  Replies (9) Good night (657) Bad night (232)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand

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  (917): You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand http://tfl.nu/conm
  Replies (1) Good night (424) Bad night (370)

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