i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
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How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
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It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.