I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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