me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize