that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
