'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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