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If that was your dad, he is hot
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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