no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Randomize
