Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
