the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
