I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize