I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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