whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
