Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
