im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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