does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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