Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize