Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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