then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
