Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
