Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
