This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
