dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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