I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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