I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
