just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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