Soap is not a condiment
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
