Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
