I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
