it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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