Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
