her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize