I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
