I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
