i always forget guys have bellybuttons
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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