I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
