Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
