it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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