I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
you never un-have a 4some
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
