dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
