It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
