I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
