Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
