i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.