i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?