That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
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he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
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so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?