Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.