Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
