her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
it's like iHOP with fire
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize