do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
