Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
