Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
