roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
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