we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
